The Amazing People That Surround You

You learn more by listening than by speaking; that’s just common sense. What is surprising, however, is how little people actually listen to one another.

When we first meet someone, we analyze every little detail about them: looks, clothing, posture, speech, handshake, smile, eye contact, etc... After we gather all of these verbal and nonverbal cues, we form our first impression of them. Impressions are very important; they could lead you to getting your dream job or not, getting a good grade or not, or getting a date with your future spouse or not.

Our minds need to classify things in order to work more efficiently. Classification helps us find information that we have stored in our brain. Therefore, it makes sense that we also classify people: “Oh, he's a marketing guy”, “He's a muscle head”, “She’s a nerd”. The problem is that our classifications are far from optimal. We classify and simplify people by what we assume they are, not by who they truly are. Nonverbal cues are very informative, especially to our unconscious, but unless we were are all like the guy from The Mentalist, we will never get the full picture just from that. It takes listening to do so.

The worst part is that we hardly change our first impression of someone. After we form our initial opinion, we unconsciously only accept data that will support our original view of that person. Contradictory data is either minimized or discarded.

By focusing on actually listening to what the person has to say, we will learn who that person truly is. Every human being is complex and filled with skills, talents, and passions. More importantly, everyone is more than just a label.

Listen a little more. You will be astonished by the amazing people that surround you.

Thanks for reading!

Best,
Pedro